There are times that my heart wants to give up, but my heart says no.
There are times that the things I used to be sure of, made me think twice and decide if it’s what I really want.
Sometimes, my heart wants to burst out.
Sometimes, I feel helpless.
And then frustration comes along.
I guess I just need a little break.
So I’m not going to say my granny got me an iPhone when I already had one.. but in honor of our 200 followers, I’m going to give away a 32GB Apple iPhone 4! This unit is factory unlocked and openline already. It includes the handset, Apple earphones with remote and mic, dock connector to…
I’m out of words to describe how I feel. Or maybe I’m using that as an excuse for my lack of knowledge on turning these thoughts and feelings into words.
I want to go back to the time when I first met them. It was January 30, 2009. I want to go back to zero, start with a clean slate.
I should have dressed properly. Instead I wore pedal shorts and a jersey shirt, add the excruciatingly painful visual stimuli you will get when you look at my hair and voila, I looked horrible enough to scare them.
I wish I were prettier back then. My face could have made up for what bad my socially unacceptable fashion taste brought to them.
I regret breaking what I never thought I had from them: Trust. I never realized it was there until I ruined it. I was not conscious of its existence because I did not care so much back then. I don’t know if I will forget this in a hundred years, but surely, this is one of the worst things I have done in my life.
I want to feel welcome to their family as much as I have felt before. I want to feel as if I belong, that they are my second family, as much as I have felt before. I want to feel comfortable and happy with them, as much as I have felt before. I want to feel that they like me to be their in-law someday, as much as I have felt before I broke their trust on me.
I do not know if I’ll ever get that precious five-letter word back. I know they have forgiven me, but I also know that they won’t forget.
We do not know what’s in store for us years from now, but there’s one constant thing I am sure of, there’s US. I want to marry you, to have pretty babies with you (awesome genes + cool genes = coolsome genes), to go to places I have only seen in magazines and movies, to eat in fancy restaurants as if we have vaults of riches, to nurse you back to health when you are not feeling well, to cuddle and kiss you first thing in the morning… I want to be the person you’ll want to share your every second with. It’s February 2011, our third Valentine’s day together. I am the luckiest girl in the universe because I’ll be spending it with YOU.
A sea of “what if-s”
Take me from this grief
I need to be stiff
Someone give me a lift.
-
Who is vexed, I am
Sanity, share some
Untangle me from
The spirits of bad gnomes.
